


Xenobiology

by haemoheretic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, First Time, Tentabulges, Xenobiology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemoheretic/pseuds/haemoheretic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kanaya receives a dire warning regarding human genitalia and Rose decides to set the record straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Xenobiology

It starts when Karkat stumbles towards you, his cheeks flushed an odd shade of pink. He seems so distressed you can’t help but feel a little pale towards him (where’s his useless clown of a moirail, anyway?), but before you can offer any comfort he grabs your wrist and looks you dead in the eyes.

“Kanaya. Humans. Humans are fucking weird.” You arch one eyebrow in response, which only aggravates him further. “You, you’re flushed for Lalonde, right? You - have you - ” He slumps onto the stool beside you and presses his forehead to one palm. “Fuck.”

“This conversation might be more productive if you’d tell me what exactly has brought this on,” you say, extracting your wrist from his grip. He doesn’t need to answer, though, because Strider chooses that moment to snicker quietly. Karkat slumps down even further and mumbles something unintelligible, and you turn to shoot Strider your best death glare.

“He wanted to watch a human romance movie,” Strider says, a tiny smirk the only emotion visible on his shade-adorned face. The words cause Karkat to raise his head and complain that there was no fucking romance in that movie you perverted - 

“That’s quite enough,” you say, reaching for your lipstick. Strider has the good sense to abscond, and as soon as he leaves Karkat sits up straight, his usual anger boiling over once more. His indignant curses follow Strider’s footsteps down the hallway, until the latter fade out and Karkat runs out of breath.

“Care to explain what all that was about?” you ask, absently running your knuckles over Karkat’s back. He sighs, leaning into your touch slightly.

“So I’m trying to show some fucking cultural sensitivity, right? Thought, y’know, we’re stuck on this fucking meteor with two aliens for the next fucking sweep and a half, might see if we have anything in common. Asked Strider about Earth romance movies, and he - that fucking doucheass thought it would be funny to show me some perverted, fucking - ” The trauma of the experience proves too much again, leaving Karkat to trail off in a series of mumbled obscenities. Assuming you won’t get anything more out of him, you start to get up, but then there are red-tinted claws digging into your wrist.

“No, wait. Kanaya. You - I have to tell you. Humans. They - they’re weird. They’ve got this sausage-things instead of bulges, and you can see their shame globes, and -” You feel your cheeks flush celadon as you finally work out the nature of Strider’s ‘romance film’. Luckily, Karkat chooses this moment to collapse in a heap of embarrassment and anger, giving you a chance to flee back to your respiteblock.

You know he meant well, trying to warn you about - whatever he was trying to warn you of - but honestly Karkat’s sudden outburst didn’t do much to help your current conflict. Which is to say, you’ve managed to sustain some kind of flushed relationship with Rose Lalonde for a few perigrees now, and you actually have no idea what you’re doing. The cultural differences have been difficult enough to navigate already; you had hoped that, when it came to the concupiscent aspects, you’d be at least somewhat similar. This interspecies romance thing is hard. It’s hard, and -

There’s a knock at your door, which snaps you out of your self-pitying inner monologue. You almost expect Karkat to burst in with more graphic warnings of the dangers of human copulation, but instead as the door creaks open you’re greeted by orange pyjamas and an ever-present soft smirk.

“I seem to have missed something,” Rose says, leaning against the doorway. You offer her a weak smile and shuffle over on the couch, giving her room to perch beside you. “Is there a particular reason Dave is being chased around the meteor by an irate Karkat?”

Oh. You’re not entirely sure you’re ready for this conversation. “As I understand, there was a miscommunication regarding romance movies,” you say, hoping she won’t pry further - but this is Rose you’re talking to, and there’s a playfulness in her voice as she speaks.

“Knowing Dave’s sense of humour, I can only imagine what he subjected Karkat to,” she says, raising an eyebrow like she knows there’s something you’re not telling her. You glance at the sun embroidered on her clothes and wonder if she knows something fortuitous about this conversation, or if she’s just being snarky.

“I believe the, uh, physical differences may have shocked him somewhat,” you say, trying to be as delicate as possible. Rose hums agreement, and her fingers brush the back of your hand. “I guess our species are more different than we thought.”

“Indeed,” Rose says absently. She’s tracing circles on your hand now, and there’s just a hint of nervousness in the way she looks up at you. “There is still so much we don’t know about each other.”

“Perhaps -” The word escapes you before you have time to think it through, and you duck your head to hide your blush. The fingers on your hand cease, then Rose is tilting your chin up and her lips press to yours.

When you part, Rose’s cheek have gone pink and she doesn’t lean back. “Perhaps?”

“Ah, I was just thinking -” You can’t help but kiss her between words. “Perhaps you could explain. Karkat was nigh on incoherent when he attempted to, ah, warn me -” You find yourself trailing off as Rose kisses the words from your mouth. Her weight against your chest makes you lean back, until the two of you are entwined.

“Well, I can try, but I should warn you,” Rose says, pulling back a little. “While I am well versed in the literature of this subject, my practical experience is somewhat lacking.” With that, she kisses at your jawbone, and you can’t think why she sounds so nervous.

“Maybe we can learn together?” You groan inwardly; you sound like every bad rainbow drinker novel you’ve ever read, but Rose just giggles and kisses you again, and you settle into the familiar rhythm of kissing her. Instead of awkwardly resting your hands on her back, though, you allow yourself to explore. You learn that the strands of Rose’s hair are silk-soft and thin, and that she hums happily when you bury your hand in them. You learn that when you press your free hand to the small of her back, she kisses you harder.

You learn that under the soft fabric of her god tier ensemble, Rose’s skin is warm to the touch. As soon as your fingertips brush against her skin she sits up, and the way she sheds her layers would be clinical if not for the way she looks up at you once her skin is bared, as though asking for approval. Kissing the curves of her spheres seems to satisfy her. The fluttery moan dissolves into giggles as you nuzzle the skin under her ribcage before returning to the remarkably entrancing spheres and the curious pink circles that adorn them.

“Do trolls have an analogue for breasts?” she asks breathlessly as your tongue flicks out, and only Rose Lalonde could make that sound alluring. Her hands find your own lumps, a question on her lips, and you let her unzip your dress and pull it down. “They seem similar enough. Do they serve a biological purpose?”

“I was unaware we were having a biology lesson,” you say, leaning in and pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck. You let your fangs graze her skin, just gently, and it takes all your self-control to pull back and kiss her.

“Fair enough,” she breathes, and bends to lick along the curve of your globes. The touch makes you acutely aware of the heat of her body against yours. More specifically, the way her thigh is pressing against your bone sheath. You try to wriggle out from underneath her, but that only makes the heat more insistent.

“Is something wrong?” Rose asks, pulling back. Under her gaze you can only laugh nervously and look away. “Hey,” she says gently, leaning in and kissing your cheek. “We can stop for now. I apologise, I did not intend to make you uncomfortable.”

“That is not exactly the problem.” Hesitant, you lace your fingers with hers. “I have to confess I am somewhat …” You trail off, losing your confidence.

“Show me.” Rose’s voice shakes a little, but there’s a steadiness in the way she wraps your hand around her wrist. “I want to do this. If you want it, that is.”

“I - yes, I do,” you say, hoping your surprise isn’t too obvious. Rose gives you a nervous smile and murmurs something about xenobiology lessons, while you tentatively guide her hand down. Your half-shed dress gets hiked up around your hips and Rose has the audacity to smirk at you before she dips her head and licks a path up your hipbones. Your muscles start to tense, and you become dimly aware of a potential problem. “Rose, do be careful -“

“Hmm, what is - Ah!” Rose recoils as your bulge unsheathes, whacking her on the underside of her chin. Wincing, you cover your eyes with your hands, too nervous to look. “That was unexpected,” she murmurs, rubbing the slightly reddened skin. “Oh - come here.” She leans up to give you a quick kiss, which is far more than you feel you deserve. “It didn’t hurt.” She pulls back, tracing one finger idly up the underside. “I suppose this is the ‘bone bulge’ I’m always hearing about? I assumed it was a male-exclusive part.”

“To the best of my knowledge, male and female trolls have identical genitalia,” you say. You’re not quite sure what to make of the fascination with which she’s eyeing your bulge, but when she presses her lips to the tip you stop caring. Instead, you let your head fall back, fingers threading through Rose’s hair. If you concentrate, you can control the way your bulge curls over her skin, twining around her tongue in a way that makes you both moan. There’s one hand circling around the base, kneading, 

A sudden loss of contact makes you whine and sit up just in time to see Rose hook her thumbs into the waistband of her leggings and pull.

“Well?” There’s that nervousness again, as Rose bows her head. You can’t see her expression under her fringe, so you reach out and touch the soft blonde curls covering her … sheath? You feel her shiver under your touch, but she remains silent.

“Not exactly what Karkat described, but I think I like this a lot better,” you say. Rose laughs quietly, looking up at you with a genuine smile that makes your cheeks warm up. “Not to be indelicate, but what should I, um…”

“Here.” Rose guides your hand underneath, where the skin is slick and smooth to the touch. It’s your turn for exploration, while Rose sits back on her heels and keeps kneading at your bulge. You find a nub that makes her gasp when you run your finger over it, which gives you an idea.

“May I try something?” You wrap your hands around Rose’s hips and wait for her nod. As though anticipating your thoughts, she shifts to straddle you, allowing you to pull her down onto your bulge. Your muscles twitch and curl deliciously against her as she rocks back and forth, mewling at the friction. Every touch seems to break her carefully cultivated control a little more, until she’s panting and stifling cries, pushing down as hard as she can. Obscenities flit through your mind at the sight of her because your usual formal words are useless here. What escapes your lips instead is a whispered “Rose.”

“Hmm?” Her voice is near breathless as she looks up at you, hair messed up and lips parted, and what choice do you have but to sit up and kiss her? She smiles against your lips and wraps her arms around your waist, drawing your chest to hers. The two of you are a little off rhythm as you rock up against each other but it’s okay, it’s wonderful, it’s - “fuck, Kanaya,” - she’s starting to tremble and you can’t keep this up much longer, your hips are moving of their own accord and there are hands in your hair clinging and pulling and you think you could be about to ascend -

Rose pulls you into a fierce kiss as her muscles tense all at once, around the tip of your bulge as it slides inside her, and the world is a blur of sensation and her hands running through your hair and everything is slick, slick heat and her kiss.

You ride it out for a while, moving slowly against each other, only stopping when Rose complains of overstimulation. She hits the floor with a soft thud, leaving you to stare blankly at your ruined couch. Trails of pale green genetic material streak your legs, the couch, your dress and Rose’s skin.

“Perhaps a towel would be useful,” Rose says, reaching for the cloth you keep beside your recuperacoon. “Or several. We’ll plan ahead next time.”

“Next time?” You can’t help the smile that spreads over your face as you reach down to help Rose’s cleaning efforts. Once the two of you are mopped up, Rose climbs up onto the couch and curls up against you, resting her head against your spheres and humming to herself. “I apologise, I forgot the amount of genetic fluid. I shall have to alchemise a new couch…perhaps a bigger one.”

“Kanaya?”

“Hmm?”

“Shh.”

“…Okay.”


End file.
